Saiyuki -- Chasing Shadows
May. 24th, 2010 12:11 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
gracie_musicaTitle: Chasing Shadows
Date Written: 5/23/10
Rating: PG/K+
Word Count: 689
Fandom: Saiyuki
Disclaimer: Not mine, property of their respective owners
Characters/Pairings: Hakkai, Gojyo
Spoilers: None really.
Warnings: Slashiness, if you've got your slash-glasses on.
Author's Notes: Thanks to![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
amai_kaminari for the encouragement, quick beta, and title!
Hakkai awoke with a gasp and a start, the poor bed frame creaking loudly in the quiet room. The unfamiliar shapes and shadows of the room were fuzzy around the edges without the aid of his glasses. It took him a moment to reconcile his dream with his reality, and he relaxed as he remembered where he was.
Another rented room in another desert town on the trip west to India, with Gojyo snoring quietly in the other twin bed.
He scrubbed at his cheeks with his hands without thinking, then jumped and jerked his hands away from his face. Squinting in the pale moonlight, he was relieved and just a little bit confused to see that his skin was white. He could have sworn...
Sighing, Hakkai covered his face with his hands again. He could still feel it, the warm sticky wetness of blood; feel it coating his fingers, taste it on his lips, feel it soaking into his hair. He could even smell the copper tang in the air.
He'd had more than just a dream -- it was too vivid to be a dream. Lingering memories merging with an overactive imagination.
Impulsively, he wiped his clean hands on his shirt. The feeling still remained, however, and now he imagined he could feel the fabric clinging wetly to his skin. Sighing, he threw the covers back and padded barefoot to the bathroom, closing the door before he turned on the light so he didn't wake up Gojyo.
The small bathroom quickly filled with steam as Hakkai stood under the hot water, watching the water swirl down the drain. The still-half asleep part of his brain was surprised that the water was running clear, the porcelain still white and pristine instead of dark with the blood of demons.
He didn't regret what he'd done in the past, what he continued to do. Self-preservation, each and every murder: protecting himself or those he cared for, those he loved, extensions of his soul. He'd do it all over again in a heartbeat. He'd probably be covered head-to-toe in blood at least once this month. The blood could be washed away, would be washed away.
But the stain, the smell, the feel would linger, would arise from the deep to give him nightmares. He wouldn't regret it, but he knew there was a sad, scared child within him somewhere that was terrified of the monster he could -- would -- become.
The oh-so-very human monster.
The faucet dripped loudly, echoing off the tiles as he shut the water off and climbed out of the shower, feeling infinitely better. He didn't even bother wiping the fog off the mirror, just dried and dressed, the lingering humidity and nothing more making the light cotton of his sleep clothes cling to his body.
Gojyo shifted on his side of the room when Hakkai exited the bathroom, the springs groaning loudly in the slumbering quiet of the room. "Y'okay?" he asked, his words slurred from sleep.
"Yes," Hakkai reassured him. "I'm sorry I disturbed you. Go back to sleep."
"Bad dream?" the redhead asked.
"Just go back to sleep, Gojyo," Hakkai repeated, climbing back into bed. He turned to face the wall, the cheap mattress squeaking under him even as he tried his best to keep the nose at a minimum.
Across the room, he heard Gojyo climb out of bed. Expecting the redhead to claim the bathroom now that it was vacant, he jumped in surprise when Gojyo instead climbed into bed behind him, slinging a careless arm across his middle.
If anyone else had done it, with the possible exception of Goku, Hakkai would have removed their arm at the shoulder joint. With Gojyo, though, it's just how things were. He provided comfort the best way he knew how: tactile comfort.
"Now, no more nightmares," he muttered in Hakkai's ear. It was said with such serious finality that Hakkai couldn't help but laugh, chasing the shadows back into the corners where they belonged.
"No more nightmares," he agreed, closing his eyes and letting Gojyo's even breathing and steady heartbeat lull him to sleep.
Date Written: 5/23/10
Rating: PG/K+
Word Count: 689
Fandom: Saiyuki
Disclaimer: Not mine, property of their respective owners
Characters/Pairings: Hakkai, Gojyo
Spoilers: None really.
Warnings: Slashiness, if you've got your slash-glasses on.
Author's Notes: Thanks to
amai_kaminari for the encouragement, quick beta, and title!Hakkai awoke with a gasp and a start, the poor bed frame creaking loudly in the quiet room. The unfamiliar shapes and shadows of the room were fuzzy around the edges without the aid of his glasses. It took him a moment to reconcile his dream with his reality, and he relaxed as he remembered where he was.
Another rented room in another desert town on the trip west to India, with Gojyo snoring quietly in the other twin bed.
He scrubbed at his cheeks with his hands without thinking, then jumped and jerked his hands away from his face. Squinting in the pale moonlight, he was relieved and just a little bit confused to see that his skin was white. He could have sworn...
Sighing, Hakkai covered his face with his hands again. He could still feel it, the warm sticky wetness of blood; feel it coating his fingers, taste it on his lips, feel it soaking into his hair. He could even smell the copper tang in the air.
He'd had more than just a dream -- it was too vivid to be a dream. Lingering memories merging with an overactive imagination.
Impulsively, he wiped his clean hands on his shirt. The feeling still remained, however, and now he imagined he could feel the fabric clinging wetly to his skin. Sighing, he threw the covers back and padded barefoot to the bathroom, closing the door before he turned on the light so he didn't wake up Gojyo.
The small bathroom quickly filled with steam as Hakkai stood under the hot water, watching the water swirl down the drain. The still-half asleep part of his brain was surprised that the water was running clear, the porcelain still white and pristine instead of dark with the blood of demons.
He didn't regret what he'd done in the past, what he continued to do. Self-preservation, each and every murder: protecting himself or those he cared for, those he loved, extensions of his soul. He'd do it all over again in a heartbeat. He'd probably be covered head-to-toe in blood at least once this month. The blood could be washed away, would be washed away.
But the stain, the smell, the feel would linger, would arise from the deep to give him nightmares. He wouldn't regret it, but he knew there was a sad, scared child within him somewhere that was terrified of the monster he could -- would -- become.
The oh-so-very human monster.
The faucet dripped loudly, echoing off the tiles as he shut the water off and climbed out of the shower, feeling infinitely better. He didn't even bother wiping the fog off the mirror, just dried and dressed, the lingering humidity and nothing more making the light cotton of his sleep clothes cling to his body.
Gojyo shifted on his side of the room when Hakkai exited the bathroom, the springs groaning loudly in the slumbering quiet of the room. "Y'okay?" he asked, his words slurred from sleep.
"Yes," Hakkai reassured him. "I'm sorry I disturbed you. Go back to sleep."
"Bad dream?" the redhead asked.
"Just go back to sleep, Gojyo," Hakkai repeated, climbing back into bed. He turned to face the wall, the cheap mattress squeaking under him even as he tried his best to keep the nose at a minimum.
Across the room, he heard Gojyo climb out of bed. Expecting the redhead to claim the bathroom now that it was vacant, he jumped in surprise when Gojyo instead climbed into bed behind him, slinging a careless arm across his middle.
If anyone else had done it, with the possible exception of Goku, Hakkai would have removed their arm at the shoulder joint. With Gojyo, though, it's just how things were. He provided comfort the best way he knew how: tactile comfort.
"Now, no more nightmares," he muttered in Hakkai's ear. It was said with such serious finality that Hakkai couldn't help but laugh, chasing the shadows back into the corners where they belonged.
"No more nightmares," he agreed, closing his eyes and letting Gojyo's even breathing and steady heartbeat lull him to sleep.
