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gracie_musicaTitle: Discussions in the Dark
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dwtwprompts prompt: Young
Count the Ways prompt: Plants
Date Written: 7/1/08
Rating: PG-13/T
Word Count: 997
Fandom: Doctor Who/Torchwood
Characters/Pairings: Jack/Ianto
Spoilers: Torchwood Season 1 & 2, Doctor Who Season 03
Warnings: M-preg, angst, adult themes
Author's Notes: So, uh, yeah. Again. Set a few days after the last chapter, a week at most. Another a/n after the fic, too, please read it before posting.
Previous chapters found here.
"I was married once."
Ianto looked up at Jack, an arm around the immortal's waist. Jack was staring up at the ceiling of the TARDIS, his eyes back in the past.
"Her name was Lily," the Captain continued. "She was Torchwood." He ran the hand around Ianto's body up and down his spine as he remembered. "You would have liked her."
Ianto knew. He'd read the personnel files, seen the wedding photos and the marriage license. Seen her death certificate, signed by Jack himself. "What was she like?"
"Gentle." His hand flattened out along the small of Ianto's bare back, staying steady. "Caring. Kind." He grinned a little. "She thought she could change me, change the world, the universe." He finally turned to meet Ianto's eyes. "More Companion material, I'd say. You and the Doctor, you're both drawn to kind, more peaceful people."
Ianto chuckled softly, moving his hand over Jack's heart. "You're fighting to make and keep everything peaceful, that's why we all adore you. Sometimes you have to take up arms to make the universe a better place."
Jack grinned and leaned in to kiss Ianto's forehead before settling back against the pillows. "We had a son in our second year of marriage. Still newlyweds." He smiled, his eyes going back up to the ceiling. "He was so beautiful, just like his mother. My smile though, made the whole room light up when he laughed."
Ianto knew what was coming next. "What happened to them?"
"He was taken hostage by hostile aliens during a mission. Six years old." Jack shifted a little, pulling Ianto closer into him. "Lily killed herself three days after we buried him."
Ianto nodded, wrapping his arm tighter around Jack and tucking his head up underneath the immortal's chin. Lily and Edward Harkness, the only two people in the morgue who shared a crypt.
"We had a child then because she was mortal," Jack said after a few moments of silence, his voice shaky. "But neither of us had even stopped to consider the ramifications, our job. I mean, traveling with the Doctor is only marginally safer, and that's because we'll lock you in a room and never let you out again."
Ianto nodded. "I've been thinking about that too." He pulled back to look down at Jack. "That, our jobs, but also how long have we been together -- not even a year? I know no one's ever ready for a child, not really, but I don't think we are. Individually or as a couple. Babies can put a strain on the best of relationships. We're still getting to know each other, testing each other's boundaries. And I know that it's rather selfish on my part, but I want some time alone with just you. I do want a baby -- your baby -- but I don't know if now's the right time for either of us."
Jack nodded as well. "So it's decided then."
"Yeah." Ianto laid back down in the circle of Jack's arms. "Part of being a responsible parent is knowing when the right time to become one is."
Jack made a noise of agreement. "Didn't expect it to hurt so much."
"Neither did I," Ianto said softly, rubbing his shoulder.
The two of them laid together in silence before Jack broke the quiet again. "How are we going to do this? I mean, is there a procedure or something?"
Ianto kissed the underside of the immortal's jaw. "Do you know anything about the ancient Greek city of Cyrene?"
"A little," Jack admitted before grinning. "I was more a Roman era man myself."
The young Time Lord laughed. "Not surprising. Cyrene was well known for its export of Silphium. Silphium was so important that the ancient Egyptians actually had a glyph specific for the plant."
"What was it?"
"It was a contraceptive and an abortifacient, induced labor early to cause a miscarriage," Ianto explained. "It had other medical properties too, but those were the most widely associated with it. There used to be a plant on Gallifrey that was like a Silphium."
"Ianto, not to be rude but... Gallifrey's gone," Jack reminded his lover.
"The TARDIS has a greenhouse," Ianto replied. He grinned at Jack's shocked look. "I'm surprised you never found it. It has plant samples from planets the Doctor has visited, but most of them are plants from Gallifrey." The younger man ran a hand down Jack's chest and stomach. "I'll go fetch some when Great-grandfather goes to sleep."
"We'll go," Jack corrected. "We both decided. We're doing this together."
Ianto pulled back to look at him before giving a soft smile and nodding. "We'll go," he agreed.
-----
"Are you going to regret this?" Jack asked as he set the plate in front of Ianto.
The Doctor was asleep. He and Ianto had snuck past his bedroom and into the greenhouse with a sketchbook of the old Gallifreyan plants. Locating the plant had been surprisingly easy -- it apparently grew like a weed, springing up wherever it could. There was so much of it that the Doctor would never even miss it.
They'd decided to mix it in with food to go down easier, and had gone to the kitchen. Jack had cooked a simple pasta, while Ianto sat at the table. Neither of them had spoken until Jack broke the silence.
"Please, Ianto, don't do something you think is just what I want."
The younger man stared at the plate for a long minute. Here it was. D-day. Jack sat next to him, taking Ianto's left hand into his own.
"I do want to have our child," Ianto said finally, looking over at him. "But I can wait for what I want."
Jack squeezed his hand and leaned in to kiss him. There was still affection in the kiss, a hint of regret, but they'd be okay. "You'll have it one day. I promise."
Ianto smiled and reached for his fork.
-----
A/N 2.0: *sigh* Okay. Let me explain. No there is too much, let me sum up.
I realize I have probably pissed off most of you doing this fic. I realize that I have probably alienated over half of my reading audience by doing this fic. I realize that this is a hot-button topic, and I've opened myself up for a lot of grief by doing this fic.
I did NOT MEAN FOR THIS TO HAPPEN THIS WAY. Honest truth. I was going through my head at part three, thinking of names, of how many coin flips I'd have to do to figure out if they were getting a girl or a boy, researching names that were not Rose or John or Gareth, figuring out what trauma I'd have them go through, maybe make Ianto's c-section trigger a regeneration so Jack had to spend 48 hours with a newborn and a passed-out partner. And an overprotective Doctor. But the muses grabbed me and dragged me about the other way. Crazy non-beings, doing what they want!
I didn't write this as some sort of 'statement'. Yes, I'm not planning on any children of my own, but I'm not some militant going around giving forced abortions. I know a few of my readers have kids. It's a personal choice. Something right for one person isn't right for the person sitting next to you on the bus.
There's one more chapter after this. I promise to redeem myself, but if you stop reading I won't get mad. I was a little hesitant to post this, because I KNOW it's going to cause issues.
So let's have it. Honest opinion on a hot-button topic. One rule though -- no going after each other in the comments. I'm up for free game, but if somebody starts a flamewar on my LJ, I'm gonna be one unhappy authoress, and that means no more fic (for those of you who still want to read me, that is)! Keep an open mind, that's all I ask.
dwtwprompts prompt: YoungCount the Ways prompt: Plants
Date Written: 7/1/08
Rating: PG-13/T
Word Count: 997
Fandom: Doctor Who/Torchwood
Characters/Pairings: Jack/Ianto
Spoilers: Torchwood Season 1 & 2, Doctor Who Season 03
Warnings: M-preg, angst, adult themes
Author's Notes: So, uh, yeah. Again. Set a few days after the last chapter, a week at most. Another a/n after the fic, too, please read it before posting.
Previous chapters found here.
"I was married once."
Ianto looked up at Jack, an arm around the immortal's waist. Jack was staring up at the ceiling of the TARDIS, his eyes back in the past.
"Her name was Lily," the Captain continued. "She was Torchwood." He ran the hand around Ianto's body up and down his spine as he remembered. "You would have liked her."
Ianto knew. He'd read the personnel files, seen the wedding photos and the marriage license. Seen her death certificate, signed by Jack himself. "What was she like?"
"Gentle." His hand flattened out along the small of Ianto's bare back, staying steady. "Caring. Kind." He grinned a little. "She thought she could change me, change the world, the universe." He finally turned to meet Ianto's eyes. "More Companion material, I'd say. You and the Doctor, you're both drawn to kind, more peaceful people."
Ianto chuckled softly, moving his hand over Jack's heart. "You're fighting to make and keep everything peaceful, that's why we all adore you. Sometimes you have to take up arms to make the universe a better place."
Jack grinned and leaned in to kiss Ianto's forehead before settling back against the pillows. "We had a son in our second year of marriage. Still newlyweds." He smiled, his eyes going back up to the ceiling. "He was so beautiful, just like his mother. My smile though, made the whole room light up when he laughed."
Ianto knew what was coming next. "What happened to them?"
"He was taken hostage by hostile aliens during a mission. Six years old." Jack shifted a little, pulling Ianto closer into him. "Lily killed herself three days after we buried him."
Ianto nodded, wrapping his arm tighter around Jack and tucking his head up underneath the immortal's chin. Lily and Edward Harkness, the only two people in the morgue who shared a crypt.
"We had a child then because she was mortal," Jack said after a few moments of silence, his voice shaky. "But neither of us had even stopped to consider the ramifications, our job. I mean, traveling with the Doctor is only marginally safer, and that's because we'll lock you in a room and never let you out again."
Ianto nodded. "I've been thinking about that too." He pulled back to look down at Jack. "That, our jobs, but also how long have we been together -- not even a year? I know no one's ever ready for a child, not really, but I don't think we are. Individually or as a couple. Babies can put a strain on the best of relationships. We're still getting to know each other, testing each other's boundaries. And I know that it's rather selfish on my part, but I want some time alone with just you. I do want a baby -- your baby -- but I don't know if now's the right time for either of us."
Jack nodded as well. "So it's decided then."
"Yeah." Ianto laid back down in the circle of Jack's arms. "Part of being a responsible parent is knowing when the right time to become one is."
Jack made a noise of agreement. "Didn't expect it to hurt so much."
"Neither did I," Ianto said softly, rubbing his shoulder.
The two of them laid together in silence before Jack broke the quiet again. "How are we going to do this? I mean, is there a procedure or something?"
Ianto kissed the underside of the immortal's jaw. "Do you know anything about the ancient Greek city of Cyrene?"
"A little," Jack admitted before grinning. "I was more a Roman era man myself."
The young Time Lord laughed. "Not surprising. Cyrene was well known for its export of Silphium. Silphium was so important that the ancient Egyptians actually had a glyph specific for the plant."
"What was it?"
"It was a contraceptive and an abortifacient, induced labor early to cause a miscarriage," Ianto explained. "It had other medical properties too, but those were the most widely associated with it. There used to be a plant on Gallifrey that was like a Silphium."
"Ianto, not to be rude but... Gallifrey's gone," Jack reminded his lover.
"The TARDIS has a greenhouse," Ianto replied. He grinned at Jack's shocked look. "I'm surprised you never found it. It has plant samples from planets the Doctor has visited, but most of them are plants from Gallifrey." The younger man ran a hand down Jack's chest and stomach. "I'll go fetch some when Great-grandfather goes to sleep."
"We'll go," Jack corrected. "We both decided. We're doing this together."
Ianto pulled back to look at him before giving a soft smile and nodding. "We'll go," he agreed.
-----
"Are you going to regret this?" Jack asked as he set the plate in front of Ianto.
The Doctor was asleep. He and Ianto had snuck past his bedroom and into the greenhouse with a sketchbook of the old Gallifreyan plants. Locating the plant had been surprisingly easy -- it apparently grew like a weed, springing up wherever it could. There was so much of it that the Doctor would never even miss it.
They'd decided to mix it in with food to go down easier, and had gone to the kitchen. Jack had cooked a simple pasta, while Ianto sat at the table. Neither of them had spoken until Jack broke the silence.
"Please, Ianto, don't do something you think is just what I want."
The younger man stared at the plate for a long minute. Here it was. D-day. Jack sat next to him, taking Ianto's left hand into his own.
"I do want to have our child," Ianto said finally, looking over at him. "But I can wait for what I want."
Jack squeezed his hand and leaned in to kiss him. There was still affection in the kiss, a hint of regret, but they'd be okay. "You'll have it one day. I promise."
Ianto smiled and reached for his fork.
-----
A/N 2.0: *sigh* Okay. Let me explain. No there is too much, let me sum up.
I realize I have probably pissed off most of you doing this fic. I realize that I have probably alienated over half of my reading audience by doing this fic. I realize that this is a hot-button topic, and I've opened myself up for a lot of grief by doing this fic.
I did NOT MEAN FOR THIS TO HAPPEN THIS WAY. Honest truth. I was going through my head at part three, thinking of names, of how many coin flips I'd have to do to figure out if they were getting a girl or a boy, researching names that were not Rose or John or Gareth, figuring out what trauma I'd have them go through, maybe make Ianto's c-section trigger a regeneration so Jack had to spend 48 hours with a newborn and a passed-out partner. And an overprotective Doctor. But the muses grabbed me and dragged me about the other way. Crazy non-beings, doing what they want!
I didn't write this as some sort of 'statement'. Yes, I'm not planning on any children of my own, but I'm not some militant going around giving forced abortions. I know a few of my readers have kids. It's a personal choice. Something right for one person isn't right for the person sitting next to you on the bus.
There's one more chapter after this. I promise to redeem myself, but if you stop reading I won't get mad. I was a little hesitant to post this, because I KNOW it's going to cause issues.
So let's have it. Honest opinion on a hot-button topic. One rule though -- no going after each other in the comments. I'm up for free game, but if somebody starts a flamewar on my LJ, I'm gonna be one unhappy authoress, and that means no more fic (for those of you who still want to read me, that is)! Keep an open mind, that's all I ask.
